Restless

4

It’s about this time every year I start to get a little antsy.  By this time I’m tired of winter, but there’s still a little bit left that we’ve got to wait out until it’s warmer and I can go outside and enjoy it.  I’m not outside a ton, but I’m definitely not going to go outside if I’m not enjoying it.  And I don’t enjoy the cold.

This past week, though, here in Illinois the weather has been beautiful.  It’s been close to 70 for several days in a row.  Just giving us a little taste of what’s ahead.  This next week?  It’s supposed to be in the 40s most of the time.  While still better than subzero temperatures, it’s still colder than what I’m ready for.

It’s also about this time of year that I start getting on all the travel sites trying to find a warm place to go for a week or so without spending too much money.  I also hate being away from work for too long.  I hate the thought that I might be missing out on a potential sale just because I’m off on vacation.  It’s not every day you get the chance to sell a house in our small town, so I’d like to take advantage of every chance that I get.

But tonight was the last small group until next winter with a friend of mine.  She goes out to Montana every year in February and stays there and works in a national park out there till around November.  Every time she leaves I start to get a little restless.  She gets to go on this great adventure through the wilderness and see some of the most beautiful parts of this country and comes home with these awesome pictures, and, truth be told, I’m more than a little jealous a lot of the time.  It’s not that I want to go out there to work.  I think this time of year it’s just that I want to go somewhere, and I don’t care where.  Do you ever feel like that?  I mean, when I found out I was going to get to go to Peoria, IL for a website conference from our provider, I was thrilled.  I still am.  I can’t wait!  Is that lame?  Probably.  I’m okay with that.

The thing is, though, as I’ve written in the About Me page of this blog, that here is where my roots are, and here is where they seem to flourish.  I love this town.  Sometimes I hate it, but in the end I can’t imagine myself anyplace else.  I can imagine myself going to visit, but living someplace else?  No way.

“Now i know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12

The best part about living here is that people know me.  The worst thing about living here is that people know me.   I know that sounds ridiculous, but I’m totally serious.  I hate it that it’s such a small town that everyone knows your business.  It gets annoying sometimes.  I love it that I am known.  I’ve got friends and family here that know who I am, even sometimes better than I know who I am.  I’m so thankful for that.  I think I keep saying that, but it’s true.  I’m lucky, blessed and thankful for them.

My cure for restlessness?  I’m not sure.  Resting in Christ maybe?  There’s a song I’ve been listening to lately, which of course I’m posting on here, called Restless by Audrey Assad.  You need to listen to it…and rest.  “Still my heart.  Hold me close.  Let me hear a still small voice.  Let it grow.  Let it rise into a shout, into a cry.   And I am restless, I’m restless till I rest in You.  Let me rest in You.”

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  • Bethany

    “The best part about living here is that people know me. The worst thing about living here is that people know me.”

    So true. In the city the best part is that they don’t know me, but then again, they don’t know me. I haven’t decided which is better.

    • Tough call for sure. Sometimes it’s just really nice to have people know who you are. Sometimes it’s really nice to be ignored, too!!

  • Dorothy Vaughn

    wow. this really resonated in me. I totally relate. Love the song. LOVE it. thanks for sharing your heart, Julie.

    • You make me smile, Dorothy! Love you!