There are days that go by so fast I barely have time to blink. Today, however, was not one of those days. In fact, today crept by so slow that (insert random joke about turtles or snails here that I’m too tired to think up…this one’s on you).
First of all, I got to work on time today. I need to start making a habit of that. I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes. But those 5 extra minutes at work could have thrown off my day. Who knows.
Secondly, I had almost forgotten that this was the week I was going to go to Catalyst Dallas to go to the conference, see my friend and finally meet the lovely and talented blogger, Bianca Juarez. I did say almost. I was actually doing quite well, and fully pleased with my decision to pay off bills…that is until I got this email from B:
If you’re still interested in meeting for coffee, I’ll be gathering up a small group of girls at Lone Star Coffee Bar in Dallas (about two miles from where Catalyst will be held). I’m excited to chat and meet in real life ”
Sadness abounded after reading that. I had to send her back an email thanking her for the invite, but that me and Dave Ramsey had to decline. We had shouted it out all up in my head, but he inevitably won. And as much as I hate to admit it, he should have.
Man, I am so tired. I’m tired of paying off bills that should have been paid off years ago. I’m tired of paying off bills that never should have been bills in the first place. I’m tired of the lessons I’ll learn from not going to Catalyst Dallas. Tonight I’m just battle weary and kind of having a little pity party.
I read a blog (go figure) by a guy named Michael Hyatt. He is the former CEO of Thomas Nelson publishers. Good stuff. When I read his post this morning, I hadn’t read my email yet. However, tonight as I read it, it’s encouraging. As much as I hate to admit it, “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?” ~ Nehemiah 6:3
And then as I open up my Jesus Calling devotional on my phone this evening I read this: ”Don’t be so hard on yourself. I can bring good even out of your mistakes. Your finite mind tends to look backward longing to undo decisions you have come to regret. This is a waste of time and energy, leading only to frustration. Instead of floundering in the past, release your mistakes to Me. Look to Me in trust, anticipating that My infinite creativity can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely design.”
I love how she said that. ”can weave both good choices and bad into a lovely design.” Sometimes I think, I’m so ready for that. I forget that right here and right now that as Michael mentioned in his post, there is growth. ”It is God’s work nonetheless, whether he did it in one second or in eighty years.”
I’m hopeful that soon I’ll be out from under this burden. Actually, I know that very soon I will be. And I look forward to the day when I get to post on here about this whole journey. But tonight it’s harder than it should be, even in the midst of all hope. Hope doesn’t make things easier to deal with. It just makes us stronger to walk through.