Home Again

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I start house-sitting this weekend.  I’ve kind of gotten out of the business except for family.  Didn’t know I was in the business?  Well, I was.  I was pretty active in it, and really good at it. I can definitely sleep in your house, cook with your better-than-mine appliances and swim in your pools…oh, and feed your animals and clean up after them.  Oh, and maybe make sure someone doesn’t break in.  Although if they did, I’d have no clue how to stop them.  But I’m really good at it.  Seriously.

Most of the time I do enjoy it, too.  The part that I hate?  Packing.  Trying to fit a week or two weeks’ worth of stuff into a suitcase and not forget anything.  Not that it’s a huge deal, but the fact that I would have to drive all the way home, 20 minutes in the opposite direction, just because I forgot my toothbrush would make me very angry. In fact, I’d rather go to CVS and buy a new toothbrush than to drive home to get the one I forgot.

Another thing I’m not too fond of is getting used to a different bed.  Keep in mind, I love to sleep, and I really love my bed.  I would rather drive home from somewhere tired and sleep in my own bed than to leave somewhere early and stay another night.  I’m kinda weird that way.

What I usually find, though, is that I fall into a completely different routine fairly easy when I’m at these other houses.  It’s like I’m me, but I’m not.  I swim every day because that’s what I would obviously do if I had a pool, right?  I work out because there’s equipment there, and I’d totally use equipment every day if I had easy access to it like at this house.  (Tell that to my stationary bike in my office.)  I get up early and am usually at work on time because we all know that’s what I normally do.

Why is it that when I’m somewhere else, I can sometimes be a better version of myself?

Why is it that when I’m sitting at home on my couch I’ll probably have the television on while surfing the web and not accomplishing anything?

But when I’m inserted into someone else’s life, I get things done and do things well.

Maybe it’s the accountability that I know that in a week they’re coming back, and they expect their animals to be alive and their house to still be standing.

I get frustrated with myself a lot at the ways I choose to waste my own time and yet I get angry when I feel that someone else is wasting my time.

It’s a double standard.  I’m selling out.  I obviously can do these things like getting up early and getting to work on time.  I can take care of another living being other than myself and everyone be healthy at the end of the week.  These are things that I can do and things that I do when I’m taking care of someone else.

So why can’t I seem to be able to take care of myself like I should?

So why do I keep selling out to the proverbial bowl of soup?

I deserve better than this.  This trading my birthright stuff is getting old.  And as much as I love Chocolate Xtreme Blizzards, even they are losing their flavor.  Every time I make a bad decision like that, I just want to throw up a little bit.  Yet I still do it.

Things around here are becoming dull and uninspired because of the way I see myself, dull and uninspiring.  Sometimes not worth the effort it takes to get to work on time.  Not strong enough to say no to that Pepsi or that ice cream…or just anything with sugar at all.

I think these next couple weeks will be good for me.  I’m ready for a break from being lethargic me and ready to start working on the me that I really want to be.  I can’t wait to see what it’s like to get to work on time every day!

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