Here’s the thing. I want to be a runner. Like I don’t actually enjoy getting up at the crack of dawn to get out and run. During the process I’m uncomfortable. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. I can’t breathe normally. Sometimes my back starts to hurt. After I’m done? I love it. I feel like I can take on the world. There’s just one problem.
I don’t really fit in the running world anywhere.
There are some really cute clothes I can buy. But I can’t fit into them.
The really cool-looking shoes don’t work for my feet.
EVERYONE finishes faster than me.
And when I’m there running amid the walkers, I feel a little like I should just give up because there’s no way I will be like them.
I told my boss who was walking in the 5k that if she saw me ahead of her and she was going to catch up to me, just to slow down so I could at least finish before a few walkers.
Insecurity. It’s a funny thing. I want other people to change so I can feel better about myself. I want the other runners to go slower. I want my friends to be less smart. I want my friends to gain a little weight ’cause losing it is more of a battle than I’d imagined. I want people to be less than they really are, just so I can feel good about myself.
And it’s not from God.
And it never will be.
We can justify it all we want, but if I ask others to change or bring others down so I’ll feel better about myself? That’s just wrong.
I have a problem with people living in mediocrity because they’re too afraid to put themselves out there. Why? Because I’ve lived it for far too long. You want to become a better runner? Get out there and run…in a race. Not just by yourself. You want to be a better friend? Get out there and be a friend…to people you don’t normally hang out with. You want to live a better life? Go outside of your comfort zone. You’ll be amazed at all the people that will meet you there.
There’s no reason we should ever doubt our worth. We are called beloved by the Creator. Our hope, our love, our faith and our salvation is secure in Him. He holds us when we’re lonely, and he loves us when we feel unloved.
“Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders.” – Deuteronomy 33:12
He’s right there. And we can rest between His shoulders. Quit selling out to the idea that you’re not worth it, that you don’t fit in, that you can’t be a runner.
Someone told me on a comment I posted on a blog that the only difference between a person who jogs and a runner is a race bib and a T-shirt. That’s the difference. I ran the race. I’m a runner, whether I finish at the top or with the walkers. I put myself out there and set myself up for complete embarrassment, and even though I don’t really fit in with the runners, I can now call myself a runner. And so thankfully, a child of God.
How have your insecurities affected the way you live your life? What are you doing about it?