Being Still

4

'Relaxing on the beach' photo (c) 2008, Andrew Osterberg - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/I have a hard time seeing my future sometimes.  Like where am I going to be when I’m 50?  Who am I going to be when I’m 50?  Will I have a husband?  Will I have a family?  Will I even make it to 50?

There are a lot of questions I can’t answer.  There are millions of unanswered questions and random worries and thoughts that could haunt me every night if I let them.  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes it’s just easier.

I haven’t been sleeping well lately.  That usually means I’ve got a lot on my mind.  Sometimes it’s worrying about a friend going through something.  Sometimes it’s my family that I’m thinking about.  And sometimes I’m just trying to beat my high score on Bejeweled Blitz.  Whatever the case, I’m still not sleeping well.  And I’m pretty sure at it’s root it doesn’t have anything to do with my high score.

Do you ever feel like you’re on the outside looking in at your life?  Is this really who I am?  These people are my friends and family?  Why has God chosen to bless me like this?

We both know how completely undeserving I am.

Is it because I feel so undeserving that I’m walking around with this half-hearted attitude lately?  Is it because I’m worried about something that I can’t quite put my finger on?

To be perfectly honest with you all, I just don’t know.  Even now as I sit here writing (a process that usually clears my thoughts and leads me closer to the answers), I just don’t know.

So could you pray for me, friends?  Maybe I just need a good night’s sleep to clear my head.  Maybe a need to go for a long run to get the cobwebs out.  Or maybe I need to find a beach and a drink and just lay there for a while.

But maybe I just need to be still and listen.

….

How can I pray for you?

 

About the author

  • Saying prayers for you my friend.

  • Amy_book

    praying today that you would see yourself with the eyes of the Creator. that you would hear His words with clarity. that confusion would be gone in Jesus name and that clarity and peace of mind would sweep in and take over. You have the mind of Christ and His heart is for you. You are loved, you are loved, you are loved, you are loved with an unending, unexplainable, crazy, unchangable love. so live loved today. in everything you do, know that you know, that you know that you are loved.