All I Need

'Lopsided gas gauge' photo (c) 2008, Eli Duke - license:

Sorry about the late start this morning.  My computer at home is still having some issues.  Hopefully this weekend I’ll get the hard drive replaced and get everything up and running again.

One thing I’ve always struggled with is doubt.  It’s not like I don’t know that God can come in and take care of everything.  It’s just that sometimes I doubt that He will.  What if the way I think it should play out isn’t the way He has planned?

So I try to intervene.

What if I’m a little short on my tax money this year?  I’ll go through my house and list things on eBay or look for new ways I can spend a lot of my free time making extra money.  I work a little harder to sell a couple more houses to cover the deficit and take care of everything.  And not that these aren’t things that I shouldn’t be doing anyway, but I really do work hard and sometimes the thought of working a little harder makes me want to vomit.  And, yes, it’s good to go through your house and clear out stuff, but it’s something I should be doing regularly and not just when I think I might need some extra cash.  But I go through in a panic and try to figure it all out.

Because it’s all on me. 

Or so I think.  And during the times that I’m rushing around I’m getting tired.  Things aren’t getting done as well as they should be.  I’m not getting sleep the I need.  And in my efforts to work harder and faster, I usually just end up running in a circle and chasing my tail.

And I forget that it’s not all on me.  Because there was a day about 23 years ago when I made the decision to turn it all over to Him.  And sometimes I forget that that’s part of the deal.  So I need to be reminded over and over and over again.

So He does.

He steps in in the little ways that if I’m not really paying attention I usually don’t notice until later.  And He steps in in the big ways where there is no other explanation.  And He does it over and over again because He knows that sometimes we forget that it’s not all on us.

And sometimes He reminds us about a huge tax deduction we forgot to include and it ends up that the amount owed is exactly what we have and is all we need.

Am I the only one that struggles with this?


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