I “read” a book last week. The reason why I put that in quotation marks is that I didn’t physically read it, but the author read it to me. I’m a member of Audible.com, and each month or so I get a new book that I’ve been wanting to read and listen to it while I’m doing some typing or other stuff at work. It’s not that I want to drown out the people in my office, but if I’m at home I’m usually writing or cleaning or avoiding work altogether, and having someone read you a book while being productive seems to be that I can count that as super productive to make up for the days that I lack any sort of motivation whatsoever.
Last week I downloaded a book called Love Story: The Hand That Holds Us From The Garden To The Gates by Nichole Nordeman. Most of you who read this have probably heard of Nichole as a singer/songwriter, and that’s where I fell in love with her writing. Her songs just have a certain quality about them. I can’t really explain it, but I usually have a pretty good idea if she had a hand in it just by listening. They’re soft and kind and beautiful.
So I knew I had to read this book.
And honestly? I feel like every word she said could have been words coming out of my head. I can’t put them together like she did, but more than once I found myself thinking, Um, yeah. I totally get that.
Nichole took part in writing the songs for a CD project called The Story. Basically what it was, was each song was about a person or group of people in the Bible, and just looking at their lives and telling their story through song. From what I understand, as she was writing these songs, she realized that there was just more to say than what could be said in a 3-5 minute song, so she just kept on writing after the fact about each of the characters, from Creation to Revelation.
I honestly can’t tell you which is my favorite chapter because they’re all that good. I mean, I totally get it when she talks about food being her love language. But I think the chapter that most sticks out to me would be the chapter on Job. She talks about going to a service where people just voiced their struggles to God, voiced their disappointments without trying to clean it up at the end. God why did you do this?! Just throwing the questions out there.
Sometimes I think we’re too afraid to question. I have a problem trying to save face, I guess would be the term for it. “Yes, I struggle with the death of my nephew sometimes, but I know that God had a plan so I press on and move forward.” And sometimes what I really want to shout from the top of my lungs is “God, what were you thinking? Why did you do this? Can’t you see the hurt over the years?”
I used to try to send my questions up to God with some sort of preface, like, Hey, God. I know you’re the Creator of the universe and all, and I don’t mean to doubt you, but… and things like that. I think the growth comes through the doubt.
I don’t understand why my friends have to go through this pain, God. It’s not fair. Why are You doing this? This just doesn’t make any sense to me. How can You say You love everyone and still this is happening? Why did this have to happen?
The questions can go on and on and on. And the answers my never come. Seriously. We may never know. But I think you should ask your questions. I think you should even shout them out in anger sometimes. Let Him know how you feel. He already knows your heart anyway and He wants you to be truly free in Him. Are we trying to keep from Him the stuff He can already see? Be real. Be you. It’s who He created you to be.
What would you ask God right now?
You don’t need to comment if you don’t want, but I want to encourage you to ask your questions. Maybe you’ll get more of an answer than you expected. Maybe you’ll just find peace.
But I will bet that you find His comfort in any circumstance.
Ask away, my friend.