'Roof support column' photo (c) 2012, Ivan Bandura - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/My friend hurt her back yesterday morning in church.  Well, actually she hurt her back a few weeks back, but it culminated this morning when she tried to move a piano bench.  It took us 15 minutes to get her from her knees to a standing position.  We spent the better part of the next 35-40 minutes trying to get her into a vehicle to take her home, only to give up and just stand in the back of the childrens’ room at church until it was over.

I made it my job to sit back in the room with her until we could get something figured out.  She assumed the position of standing by the door with one hand on the doorknob to help support her and the other on my shoulder.

I don’t know how well you know me, but I want you to know that that is not at all what I wanted to be doing.  What I wanted to do was to get her into my car, take her to the chiropractor’s office and get her back popped back into place so she could walk again.  I like to fix things.  But there was nothing that I could do that was going to fix this situation.

So we talked.  We talked about how ridiculous we looked.  We talked about plans for the week and how that now that the back had become an issue that that might be changed.  We talked.  She stood.  I held.

I learned something yesterday that I’ve probably learned before and I’ll probably learn again.  We can’t fix everything.  Sometimes we’re just called upon to sit and hold.

Sometimes our friends are in such pain, whether it be physical or emotional, that all we want to do is make the problem go away.  But all we CAN do is be there for them to lean on.  I think there is probably a reason that we don’t have all the answers.  Mainly that we’re not God, but I think a big part of it is that we’re supposed to walk this journey together.  We’re supposed to hold each other up.

This particular friend is one that I’ve called many times with questions and hard times.  I’ve leaned on her, and she’s held me up, and I feel like I’ve returned the gesture, as well.  We’ve learned to lean, and we’ve learned to hold.  I think sometimes God brings us to these situations so we can learn how to walk together, because I truly believe that we are definitely not supposed to walk this path alone.

I love walking into a huge building and seeing all of the beams and columns holding it up.  It doesn’t matter how big or how small the building, though, there is usually more than one column holding things up and keeping it all together.

I think maybe we were meant to lean.  Lean on those that are closest to us.  And quite honestly, sometimes there isn’t just one person or thing that can hold us up.  Sometimes we need a whole crew to sustain that support.

So today I want you to be okay when you need to lean.  I want you to be strong when it’s your time to hold.

After all, we’re all here to help each other out along the way.

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  • Debbie Legg

    *happy tears* This is beautiful, Julie, and SO true. I needed to read this. 🙂

    • Thanks, Debbie. Sad that I have to keep relearning this, but so glad that I do!

  • rojopaul

    Love this. Thanks for reminding us all, there is a time to lean and a time to be the support.