We Need Each Other2
I’m writing this on Friday, December 14, 2012, and my heart is heavy. This morning a young man went into the school where his mother worked and killed 27 people, most of them children in an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut.
My heart hurts.
This afternoon I got a text from a good friend whose mother is in the comfort room at the hospital and it says that she doesn’t expect her to make it through the weekend.
My soul is weary.
This evening early I got another text from a friend telling me about her ultrasound and how the baby is active and healthy and how the due date is just three days after my birthday.
And I rejoice with her.
It’s been a roller coaster of a day, and I’m not directly involved in any of the circumstances.
But I’m finding it hard to balance all of the emotions.
I want to just stop everything and mourn with those in Connecticut and mourn with my friend and her family. It doesn’t really feel like the world should continue moving on while all these lives are affected. People come in and out of the office all day today, and no one really mentions it. Only when it’s quiet do we start to talk and share our disbelief and anger and frustration and the way the world has become. And then we go back to work.
And I just want everything to be back to normal. I want to go to work and not hear news that has me on the verge of tears all day. I want to really feel like I can be completely overjoyed and filled with excitement for my friend.
But right now I’m just numb.
I can’t even muster up any amount of anger, because right now the thought of feeling anything is just so. far. away.
I’m home now. I can’t even turn on my TV. I’ve still got to go out and meet with my incredible small group for a Christmas party. We’re getting together to celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world and yet…and yet there were children killed today that He didn’t save.
And I know there is death in this world. It’s a horrible result of a fallen world. And deep down I know that there is a plan for all of this hurt with those who were killed and those who are hurting and even with those who are rejoicing.
And deep down I know that He really is the Savior of the world. And that His ways are not mine. But really? Five-year-old children?
I wouldn’t have done it that way.
I’m just being honest. In my head I tell myself that I would have stopped it. That if I were in control, I would have never let it happen. But in my heart, I know there is a bigger picture. Do I think that this was His plan? Absolutely not. His plan was perfection, and we screwed that up.
And because of our failures there is hurt. And there is pain. And there is brokenness. And it’s hard and it’s horrible, and there really is no way to balance the pain and the rejoicing when it comes at the same time. But there is a promise.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” ~ Pslam 34:18
So for those of you who are mourning, know that I am mourning with you. May the Lord draw you into His arms and hold you close, just like in His promise.
And if you’re rejoicing, know that I, too, am rejoicing with you. There is so much more good to outweigh the bad in this world, and we need to learn how to truly rejoice with each other.
We need each other.
So remember to lean on each other in the good times and the bad. We were created to help each other out. Draw near to the ones you love. Hold tight while you can.
He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
May the Lord be always with you, my friends.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” ~ Isaiah 43:2-3