Disconnect

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'unplugged' photo (c) 2008, Bill Selak - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/I’ve been kinda absent from a lot of things lately.  I’d love to sit here and tell you that I knew exactly why, but I can’t.  Maybe you haven’t noticed, and that’s okay.  But I have.  Little by little I’ve been shutting things off in my life.  Saying no to things that I could while keeping commitments I had previously made.  Just kinda stepping back and taking a look at what all is going on in my life.

You know what I’ve realized?

Things still go on whether I’m involved or not.

Whether I’m in charge or not.

People step up when they need to, and people you hoped would step up kind of disappear into the background.

These last couple months have been, in a word, interesting.

And I could tell you I’m tired.  Which I am.  I could tell you I’m burned out on some things.  Which I am.  And I could tell you I just need to step back and not try to control everything.  Which I do.

But honestly, this is something that I don’t quite understand deep in the depths of my soul crying out telling me to slow down.  Telling me that less noise all around you is good for the soul.  Less distraction can help you to really hear what’s going on.  A friend of mine mentioned the word pruning.  Getting rid of unnecessary to make room for new and good and better.

There are things that I’ve stepped back from that I feel like I’m ready to start up again, but for some reason, something is holding me back.  Maybe I just need one more week’s rest.  Maybe my mind is trying to tell my spirit when to move, and at this point, it doesn’t seem to be making any headway.  I feel like I’ve been having this conversation with God for a while now.  But they need me to do this.  I need to be there.  I don’t need to be here, but I want to be here.  This is good for me, I promise.

And you know how He responds?  Beloved, trust me.  I know what’s best for you.  I promise.  Just wait a while longer.  You’ll see.

So, yeah.  I’m resting.  I’ve been a little absent.  And it’s possible that I will be for a bit longer.  But I think that the main thing I want to tell you tonight is that I’m still with you.  Except you may not be reading as many of my words.  And hopefully I can be physically with you and we can talk.  We can talk about what is going on in your life.  And if you want, we can talk about disconnecting.

One thing I will say, though:  I haven’t had my house this clean in a long time.

About the author

  • I have been a bit disconnected from the interwebs myself lately. I find that I am slowly trying to reconnect, but I don’t want to be as connected as I was before. So I’m trying a bit here and a bit there to see what feels comfortable. And some days or weeks nothing feels comfortable, so I don’t share and that’s okay. Good luck finding your balance.