I haven’t written anything on here since July 24. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried. I’ve sat down on average about once a week or so with the best of intentions, but the words haven’t come. At least not ones I wanted to share with you. 2014 was hard. And good. And really hard. And really good.
I chose the word “beloved” last year to focus on. Just to rest in the fact that Christ calls me beloved. Some days it was the easiest thing in the world to believe. Some days it was the furthest thing I felt to be true. But one thing I’ve learned over the years? Just because I feel it, doesn’t mean it’s true.
2014 was hard. And good. And really hard. And really good. And it’s okay. I think some years are just that way. I think a lot of times the really good come with the really hard. I think it’s part of the journey.
So when I sat down to come up with a word to embody 2015, I took a lot into account. I have some things I’d like to accomplish this year. I usually sit down and think about what kind of word I would want to personify the year. This year it found me.
I was talking to my friend, Tracee, about it when she asked me to explain a little further. At that point I hadn’t put much thought into it at all, but I just said this: “Just less junk. Less spending. Less debt. Less weight. Less pride. Less drama. In order to receive more. More freedom. More love. More community., etc.”
And it has stuck with me. I can’t shake it.
So far in 2015 less has meant better budgeting. Less has meant, just today, saying no and canceling my trip to Austin, TX to go to the IF Gathering in February. And it makes me sad. But after two months of struggling with whether or not to go to the conference, I finally feel 100% at peace with the decision. I feel sad, but at peace. It was just the right thing to do with all the circumstances.
I have a feeling less is going to mean saying no to good things in order to make way for better things. And I do believe that. I believe there are incredible things going on with IF Gathering, and I would love to be there with every fiber of my being. However, with my circumstances and my circle of influence, will it make a greater impact for me to go to Austin and experience the conference first-hand or will it be better for me to stream it from home and have some friends over to experience it with me? One thing I’ve found is that just about everything is better with your friends and community.
So I’m saying less.
And I’m hoping for so much more this year than I ever have.