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Selling Out…

August 15, 2011 in Uncategorized with 11 Comments

“May you always be sold out for Jesus.”

We had a baptism service last week, and this is what a mother told her young son right before he was baptized. I loved it.

Here at The Esau Project I talk a lot about selling out or compromising as a derogatory term. I’ve never addressed it as a positive thing, though. I’ve always believed the mantra, If you’re going to do something, do it all the way. I’m not saying I’ve always lived by it, but I’ve always believed it.

I love a good story. Everyone has one. Some have happened a while ago. Some are happening now, and some are just getting ready to happen. God will move in your life and you will have a story of redemption if you’ll let Him.

So here’s what I’m thinking. I want to share these stories. I don’t want The Esau Project to just be about the things we do to trade our futures. I want to bring light to the fact that we probably make compromises that we don’t even realize a lot of the time, but I also want to share the stories of the ones who didn’t compromise.

There are a lot of them. From Nehemiah to Esther to me and you, there are stories of victory and redemption and grace and peace and love. You are a story of victory. There are stories that have happened and there are stories that are just waiting to happen.

There’s a movement called People of the Second Chance. I’m kind of in love with it. They’ve started a new campaign called the Never Beyond Poster Series.

“We all have people we would and wouldn’t give a second chance — lines drawn and beliefs formed about who we could forgive.

Right?

POTSC is launching the NEVER BEYOND Poster Series: 25 posters representing well known historical, current and fictional characters who are believed to have harmed society. This campaign consists of digital and print posters and the full collection will eventually be displayed as a touring art exhibit.

The campaign draws out themes of forgiveness, grace and what a pathway to a second chance looks like.”

These are redemption stories just waiting to happen.  There’s hope for everyone.  We’ve got to do our job and extend grace.

Think of your story before God gave you a second chance. Now, tell me your story now that He has.

10 Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

August 12, 2011 in Uncategorized with 28 Comments

I’m sure I’m going to forget some, and I’m sure that you’re going to think some of my picks are really dumb movies, but I like them.  Some of these are favorites of mine, and some of them I just like to watch, if that makes sense.  I’m interested in know what yours would be.  So here we go and in no particular order.

**Disclaimer – (for my gentlemen readers) I’m a girl.  Most of these are girlie movies.  If you have a problem with that, talk to God.  He created me.

1.  Return to Me – This is probably my favorite movie.  It’s sad.  It’s funny.  It’s a love story.  It’s got two of my favorites, Bonnie Hunt and Minnie Driver.  Just a good movie.  Watch it if you haven’t.

2.  Pretty Woman – I’ve written a whole post about the whole concept that there’s a little hooker in all of us.  This movie is the reason I came up with that idea.

3.  The Prince and Me – Seriously.  A Denmark prince goes incognito to college in America, meets a girl and falls in love.  I know.  I’m super cheesy, but I love it.  I can watch it over and over and over again.  It’s every little girl’s dream.

4.  The Bourne Trilogy – Yes.  I know this is three movies, but you can’t really say one without saying them all.  They’re just well-done movies.  and then there’s Matt Damon…

5.  Groundhog Day – There’s just something about this movie that I love.  I’m not really sure what, but I still love it.

6.  While You Were Sleeping & The Proposal – I know.  I almost put every Sandra Bullock movie ever, but I narrowed it down to two.  I love both of these probably pretty equally.  The one bonus that The Proposal has over WYWS is Ryan Reynolds.

7.  Pride and Prejudice – I prefer the 6-hour BBC version, but when I don’t have time to watch that version (or read the book), the newest version will work for a quick Mr. Darcy fix.  Honestly, when they make your favorite book of all time into a movie, you really want it to be good.  If you have time, watch the BBC version.

8.  My Big Fat Greek Wedding – This was one that took me by surprise.  I expected it to be really cheesy and bad.  While it was really cheesy, I still loved it.

9.  The Pelican Brief – I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like this movie.  If I see it on TV, I watch it.  End of story.

10.  Sweet Home Alabama – It’s Reese Witherspoon, so I usually give it a shot.  Then you put in McDreamy and Josh Lucas, who I think is more dreamy than McDreamy along with the deep south, fashion design and trailer trash, it’s a home run.

So that’s 10 movies that I can watch over and over again.  What are some of yours?

And While We’re On The Subject

August 10, 2011 in Uncategorized with 0 Comments

“When David saw the angel about to destroy the people, he prayed, ‘Please!  I’m the one who sinned; I, the shepherd, did the wrong.  But these sheep, what did they do wrong?  Punish me and my family.  Not them.’” ~ 2 Samuel 24:17

David had taken a census of his people, which God had commanded him not to do.  He felt guilty, asked for forgiveness and God gave him three forms of punishment to choose from.  All of them were horrible.

Let’s stop right here for a moment.  There have been times that I would like to choose my own punishment.  I just don’t want to have to choose multiple choice.  I want to punish myself with ice cream rather than three days of plague on the whole country.  Maybe it’s just my trust issues.  Who knows.

David chooses his own punishment by choosing to trust God and his mercy versus getting left to the hands of men.

And might I interject here:  Good choice.

But when God released the plague and David’s people started being killed, this is where he does the brave thing.  He prays and asks God to stop punishing his people for the sin that he has committed.

Wait.  What?

My sin might in some way affect other people?

If I sell out and choose to live a life of temporary pleasures, there are other people that that might affect?

I live so self-centered that I forget that my choices have an affect on other people.  Just to put it in simple terms, if I chose to lie about something wrong with a house I was selling, I wouldn’t be the only one with a problem.  Yes.  I could make a sale, but I could also lose my license.  That, in turn, would make us short one salesperson.  I and my boss could be sued.  My seller could be sued.  My buyer will have a big problem on their hands, and it just keeps going downhill from there.   That’s why I do business honestly.

But what about the times that I choose to drive too fast?  That’s not really causing a problem for anyone, is it?  What about if I were to choose to sleep around?  What if I choose to eat too much?  What if I choose to steal money?

These are things that I would need to be punished for, but I forget that every choice I make can affect you.  I’m glad we’re in this together.

What choices do you have coming up?

He’s My Hero

August 8, 2011 in Uncategorized with 0 Comments

We’re told we should want to live like him.  He was brave.  He was creative.  He was a good friend.  He was called a man after God’s own heart.

And he was a sell-out.

I’m sitting here thinking of David.  The beautiful Psalms sharing rejoicing and pain, they’ve wrecked me more than once.

And then I think about Bathsheba and how he traded and even better future than what he experienced for a woman.  A Biblical man who most of us think had it all and had it all together royally screwed up.

Don’t get me wrong.  I would be thrilled if a man wanted to fight for me or even wanted to kill for me, even as a (mostly) pacifist.  It would initially be awesome.  But then I would start thinking about all that this man gave up for me.  And then he would start thinking about all that he gave up for me.

It wouldn’t end well.

I wonder what David’s life would have been like had he not chosen to give everything up for Bathsheba?

And I’m here thinking, Well, he didn’t give everything up.  He was still blessed beyond belief.  He was still called a man after God’s own heart.

And I get that.  I do.  But since God blessed him as he did with those past decisions and sell outs, can you imagine how he would have lived had he not taken that misstep?

What about you?  Where could you have been?  Where are you heading now?

10 Things For Which I’m Thankful

August 5, 2011 in Uncategorized with 4 Comments

I’m trying to be more thankful.  There are a lot of things I can complain about, but there are a whole lot more for which I can be thankful.  I’ve got a friend who’s blogging a theme called Thanksgiving 365 and just listing things as often as she can that she’s thankful for.  I love it.  That and she’s awesome.  Go check it out.  Anyway, here’s 10 that I’m thinking about now!

1.  I’m thankful for my family.  We had a family reunion for my mom’s side the other day.  Quite a few showed up that I hadn’t seen in a long time and several that I hadn’t ever seen.  Lots of pictures were taken in the blistering heat.  But I am thankful.  It’s good to know where you come from.  Whether you were born in, adopted in or married in, you’re family and this is history.  This is my grandparents and aunts and uncles.  Mom is in the middle.  I get my height from her…

 2.  I’m thankful that I got to go and get a pedicure with my sister-in-law and my new niece.  And I’m thankful that Madelyn slept through the whole thing.
3.  I’m thankful that I got to spend two weeks house-sitting.  I’m totally out of the business now, but I had already had these booked before I made that decision.  But I was thankful for a week of this:
4.  And for the second week, there was a pool at this house, too, but I loved this part of it:
Beauty in the solitude…

5.  I’m thankful for a job that I love.  I’m thankful I get to give new homeowners their first set of keys.  I’m thankful for a boss who lets me be creative…like when I designed our awesome signs.

 6.  And although I’m always thankful for the extra cash that house-sitting brings in, I’m ever-so-thankful that tonight, after two weeks, I get to sleep in my own bed in my own house.  And I get to stay there for a while.  It’s not a lot, but it’s more than I need or deserve, and it’s mine.

7.  I’m thankful that all my friends are back in town after two weeks.  Church camps and vacations leave me feeling a little alone when I can’t got with or visit.  Good to all be together.  I feel a little bit of a party coming on…

8.  I’m thankful for fun apps that let my nephew and I giggle and laugh for hours on end.  Seriously.  This inventor is genius.

                                                                                        9.  I’m thankful that I was able to run a consecutive 25 minutes, and that in 35 minutes of run/walk I went almost 2.5 miles, which is close to a 5k.  I’m getting there.   I’m also thankful that when I slipped getting into the hot tub after the run to relax that I didn’t break anything.  Or die.  I’m thankful that it’s just a bruise the size of Nantucket on my inner thigh.  Which is sad because that means my thighs are big enough to house a small black and blue island…

10.  I’m thankful for faith through the eyes of a child.  Two young boys in my church gave their lives to Jesus last weekend.  The youngest, 7, when asked by his mom if he wanted to go to Heaven said, “Yes.  ’Cause Heaven has golden streets and chocolate houses.  At least that’s what Gracie (his cousin) told me.”  Every time I think of this it makes me smile…and a little hungry.

What are you thankful for this week?

You Are Enough

August 3, 2011 in Uncategorized with 4 Comments

I’m tired of it. You’re giving in, selling out, and I want nothing of it.

I see you walking around with a defeated attitude, and I won’t wallow there with you. I’m sorry. I really am. But I see what you don’t or what you refuse to see.

You deserve more.

But for some reason you just don’t see it. I don’t know if it’s a case that you’ve been told over and over and over again that you’re not worth it? Is that it?

It’s a lie.

Is it a case where life has just beaten you down time and time again? Where it seems like everything you try just turns to shit?

It’d be stupid for me to tell you not to worry. It sucks. It really does. I can tell you it will all get better, but it may not. I can tell you it will get easier, but what if it doesn’t?

But I can tell you how to find peace.

I can show you how to look for and see hope in the darkest of places. And sometimes a little bit of hope can change the world.

So if you insist on walking around continually defeated, I will not have any part of it. I don’t want to be harsh, but I refuse to let you continue to feel like you’re worthless or you’re not worth the effort.

What I will do is show you your worth. You have these qualities that are unique to you. These qualities make you so, so special. But you hide them away where even you can’t remember what you did with them.

They’re beautiful. I want you to share them with the world. Heck, I’m just going to say it. I want you to share them with me. A little selfish? Probably. But I want you to have a safe place. I want you to see that there is a place made especially for you. And as hard as it is to believe it, I know it’s true.

You don’t need to feel defeated.

You can have peace in the midst of hard times.

You are beautiful.

You are special.

You are loved.

You are enough.

The Center of Who You Are

August 1, 2011 in Uncategorized with 4 Comments

I think as a society we’ve got this “Love” word all wrong. It’s overused and constantly abused. I love my family and my friends. I also love chocolate.

Where did this dilution of the word “love” come from? How did we get to a place where we use the same word to speak about family as we did with the new recipe for cheesy potatoes?

Maybe I’m making this more of a big deal than it really is, but because of this dilution of the word I feel like we’ve had a dilution of the actual act itself. Who falls in love anymore? It’s really all about sex these days for a lot of people. In the past several months we’ve seen Rep. Anthony Weiner and Rep. David Wu get caught in “sex scandals” because they’re looking for something in this very moment. These men, like so many others, have sold out and thrown away their careers for something temporary.

Something that love is not.

I think that part of the problem is that love is so hard sometimes. I’d say it’s probably easy to fall in love, but to stay in love? That’s where the work comes in. To really love someone is to be honest with them. Say the hard things.

Serve.

Man, that’s a loaded word. You mean I’m supposed to serve someone other than myself? That’s not the way we’re taught, and it’s definitely not the way we act.

“Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle” ~ Romans 12:9-10 The Message

I love the wording on that. “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it.”

Love is everything selfishness is not. Selfishness is trading your political career for sex. Selfishness is putting your needs and/or wants before anyone else’s. Selfishness is telling me what I want to hear to maybe avoid a confrontation or a breakdown.

Love serves first. Love plays second fiddle. Love is good and honest.

Love doesn’t sell out.

What’s your take on the dilution of love in society? What’s your definition?

10 Songs I’ve Been Running To

July 29, 2011 in Uncategorized with 8 Comments

I think a good playlist is essential to running life.  I listen to songs that I normally don’t listen to when I run.  I kind of feel like I need to listen to songs that make me want to get in a fight.  They seem to give me a little more energy.  It’s probably all in my head, but here’s what I’ve been listening to in the mornings!  Also, go to Reluctant Runners every Friday for their picks for the week!

1.  Hey Mama by Mat Kearney.  Just a good starter song.  I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re looking for a good push towards the end.

2.  Lose Yourself by Eminem.  As my friend says, it’s hard to listen to this song and not get pumped up…unless his wife is singing it.

3.  All I Do Is Win by DJ Khaled with a few special guests.  This should probably just be my theme song because, really, all I do is win.

4. ‘Till I Collapse by Eminem.  This is usually a good one for when I feel like I’m about ready to collapse…hence the inclusion on the playlist.

5.  Forget You by Cee Lo Green.  I went with the clean version.  I just like the song.  Good beat.

6. Funky Jesus Music by TobyMac and Beckah Shae.  Just a fun song great for a little boost!

7.  So What by P!nk.  I love P!nk.  I love her music.  I love her attitude.  This song is the best of both worlds.

8.  Funhouse by P!nk.  Ditto from above…except she’s burning a house down full of evil clowns…metaphorically speaking…hopefully.

9. No Plan B by Manafest.  There’s a lyric in there that says that I can’t turn around.  There are times during the runs I need to hear that.

10.  Say Hey (I Love You) by Michael Franti/Wavin’ Flag by K’naan.  I had two more songs that I have gone back and forth between.  I usually like Wavin’ Flag more than Say Hey, but do enjoy both.  Both good for warming up or cooling down!

What songs do you like to work out to?  Or if you don’t work out, what songs make you want to fight?  I’m going to revamp my playlist soon!

For Those Who Love Us

July 27, 2011 in Uncategorized with 8 Comments

I was thinking last night about how awesome I was. Of course I only think of the good things that have come to pass and really just try to ignore the not-so-great things.

I decided, as I had just about every other day this past week, that because I was so awesome I needed to celebrate, and that the celebration of myself somehow needed to include chocolate and ice cream, preferably together. So to Dairy Queen I went.

I had confided in a friend and asked for prayer, though, a couple weeks ago about my eating habits. I was getting everything under control in my life except for that. I was/am justifying it because now that I’m working out, I’m burning more calories and obviously have to keep more fueled up. Which is right, but the most important part of that theory is that I need to be choosing the right foods.

This morning I was thinking of my friend. I was thinking that I hadn’t talked to her in a while and that I needed to call her this evening. So I wasn’t surprised when I got home from showing some houses that my phone rang and it was her.

We talked for a little bit, shared some good news and then she hit me with it. She proceeded to ask me how my food choices had been going. I confessed that they were still off track, but that I actually made some good decisions today. Not the best, but better than before. She said, Well I’ve got to tell you that when I’m praying I get this word and I know I’ve got to tell it to you.

So right now I know I’m in for it. My friends are nothing if not honest with me, and I love them for it.

She said I keep hearing, “Tell Julie Esau.” That’s it.

She could have punched me in the gut and gotten pretty much the same reaction from me. The conversation went further. I realized how awesome she was. I said thank you and hung up.

Esau might not mean anything to you. It doesn’t have to. It was a word for me. I’m thankful for a friend who’s not afraid to slap me back into shape every once in a while.

Because, seriously, how can I sit here and write about how Esau sold out and ruined his life and I continue to do the same thing? I’m glad we’re on this journey together, friends. I’m glad you’ve been willing to stick it out with me, whether I’m awesome or whether I’m awesomely stuck in a rut. I’m thankful that we can encourage each other and help each other through these same ole’ struggles.

So for those that love us, I say thank you…even if you do have to knock the wind out of me sometimes. Just don’t make a habit out of it…

What about you? Do you have someone like that that will keep you accountable? That’s willing to give you a swift kick in the rear if you need it?

Gone Too Soon

July 25, 2011 in Uncategorized with 3 Comments

I heard the news yesterday that Amy Winehouse had been found dead in her apartment in London. I’d honestly never really listened to much of her music. Yesterday, though, I sat for a while and listened to the beautiful music of a tortured soul. She’d been living a troubled life in the spotlight for quite some time. And really all I knew of her were her demons that she was fighting.

My heart is saddened when I see people being overtaken by their demons because I totally get it. I get it because it happens to me at some point every day. Some people walk around with their demons hidden, and we never know about them. Then there are some who live in the public eye, and even if they wanted to fight to rid themselves of those demons, sometimes we just won’t let them. Their flaws make better stories than their normalcy. Negative news, people making fools of themselves or people so strung out that they don’t know what their doing are the majority of the headlines we see these days.

And it makes my heart ache.

We get so caught up, just like I did with Amy Winehouse, by seeing people and defining them by their demons. She was a musician who made beautiful music and not a drunk who couldn’t get her act together. I was reminded of this with one of our verses at church Sunday.

“He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.” ~ John 2:25

He knew what was in each person. He knows what’s in me. He knows what I can take, what my strengths are and what my weaknesses are. He knows what’s in you. And He knew what was in Amy Winehouse. He knew the beauty in her music came from the beauty that was within her…

…because He created that beauty.

He created that beauty in Amy Winehouse, and He creates that beauty in each and every one of us.

My prayer for all of us is that we live out that beauty to it’s fullest. You deserve to be all that God has created you to be, and the world deserves to see that God be glorified in the in the beauty that He knew was in us.

So mourn for those who are hurting and continue to fight your demons. You’re worth it, and you’re beautiful.

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