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Gone Too Soon

July 25, 2011 in Uncategorized with 3 Comments

I heard the news yesterday that Amy Winehouse had been found dead in her apartment in London. I’d honestly never really listened to much of her music. Yesterday, though, I sat for a while and listened to the beautiful music of a tortured soul. She’d been living a troubled life in the spotlight for quite some time. And really all I knew of her were her demons that she was fighting.

My heart is saddened when I see people being overtaken by their demons because I totally get it. I get it because it happens to me at some point every day. Some people walk around with their demons hidden, and we never know about them. Then there are some who live in the public eye, and even if they wanted to fight to rid themselves of those demons, sometimes we just won’t let them. Their flaws make better stories than their normalcy. Negative news, people making fools of themselves or people so strung out that they don’t know what their doing are the majority of the headlines we see these days.

And it makes my heart ache.

We get so caught up, just like I did with Amy Winehouse, by seeing people and defining them by their demons. She was a musician who made beautiful music and not a drunk who couldn’t get her act together. I was reminded of this with one of our verses at church Sunday.

“He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.” ~ John 2:25

He knew what was in each person. He knows what’s in me. He knows what I can take, what my strengths are and what my weaknesses are. He knows what’s in you. And He knew what was in Amy Winehouse. He knew the beauty in her music came from the beauty that was within her…

…because He created that beauty.

He created that beauty in Amy Winehouse, and He creates that beauty in each and every one of us.

My prayer for all of us is that we live out that beauty to it’s fullest. You deserve to be all that God has created you to be, and the world deserves to see that God be glorified in the in the beauty that He knew was in us.

So mourn for those who are hurting and continue to fight your demons. You’re worth it, and you’re beautiful.

What Did You Do?

July 24, 2011 in Uncategorized with 0 Comments

So Friday I ran for 20 minutes as per the Couch to 5K plan.  And I didn’t die.  So that’s a bonus.  I really wanted to sleep.  It was really hot.  But I decided to do the best thing for me and not sell out.  I was revived physically and emotionally.

So I want to know what you’ve done lately.  Have you started a new project?  Have you maybe made some not-so-great choices?  Or are you one of those people who always make the best choices for themselves?

Let me know!

My 10 Favorite iPhone Apps

July 22, 2011 in Uncategorized with 8 Comments

I’ve had my Verizon iPhone about two months now, and that’s long enough to have developed a few favorite applications.   Here they are in no particular order.

Evernote.  This thing is gold.  I click on it and click on the voice record and start recording or type my ideas for new blogs, etc.  It automatically syncs to the free Evernote software on my laptop.  And it’s free.

Tweetbot.  I read on another blog that this was the best Twitter app, so I tried it.  I sucked it up and paid the $1.99 for it.  I’ve not been disappointed.  No problems and always updating.  Plus it makes fun sounds.

Words With Friends, aka Scrabble.  There’s no hurry to come up with a word on the spot with a game board.  I can take up to several days before I make my next play.  I still suck at it, but I am getting better.

Kindle app.  It’s free.  It syncs with my Kindle at home.  It’s stinking awesome.  One of the best inventions ever.  I can read anywhere.

Couch to 5k by Bluefin Technologies.  I have a hard time calling this one of my favorites, but I use it a lot.  I’m very thankful for it, ’cause when I’m out training, it dings and then tells me to walk, then dings and tells me to run.  It also plays music, tracks me by GPS and keeps track of my pace times both walking and running and puts them all on a nice graph.  I don’t have to think about anything except to keep breathing.

Instagram.  All those fun pictures that I post on my Facebook page and/or Twitter?  Yeah.  They come from here.  Great camera with the iPhone, and then awesome filters through Instagram.  Love this app.

Yes.  I love Angry Birds.  I could sit and play for hours.  I would if my battery would last longer.  I’ve passed most of the levels on both this version and Rio.  Now I’m just trying to kill the pigs faster.

SoundHound.  This one is so cool.  I tap the icon and hold it to music, and usually within 30 seconds it tells me the name of the song, who sings it and gives me the link to download it on iTunes.  I can also sing into it, and it will tell me the right song.

Fruit Ninja. Fruit and bombs fly up in the air.  You use your finger to slice the fruit and not the bombs.  Simple yet so addicting.  I play it every night before I go to sleep.  What’s not therapeutic about slicing fruit?

YouVersion Bible App.  Obviously, I’ve put this one in here to make myself look like a better Christian.  Just kidding.  And it’s probably the one that I use the most, at least in church.  I’m not one to remember to walk out the door with my Bible, but I always remember my phone.  The person who put the two together was a genius.

So what about you?  Any favorite apps?  What app would you create if you could?

Home Again

July 20, 2011 in Uncategorized with 1 Comment

I start house-sitting this weekend.  I’ve kind of gotten out of the business except for family.  Didn’t know I was in the business?  Well, I was.  I was pretty active in it, and really good at it. I can definitely sleep in your house, cook with your better-than-mine appliances and swim in your pools…oh, and feed your animals and clean up after them.  Oh, and maybe make sure someone doesn’t break in.  Although if they did, I’d have no clue how to stop them.  But I’m really good at it.  Seriously.

Most of the time I do enjoy it, too.  The part that I hate?  Packing.  Trying to fit a week or two weeks’ worth of stuff into a suitcase and not forget anything.  Not that it’s a huge deal, but the fact that I would have to drive all the way home, 20 minutes in the opposite direction, just because I forgot my toothbrush would make me very angry. In fact, I’d rather go to CVS and buy a new toothbrush than to drive home to get the one I forgot.

Another thing I’m not too fond of is getting used to a different bed.  Keep in mind, I love to sleep, and I really love my bed.  I would rather drive home from somewhere tired and sleep in my own bed than to leave somewhere early and stay another night.  I’m kinda weird that way.

What I usually find, though, is that I fall into a completely different routine fairly easy when I’m at these other houses.  It’s like I’m me, but I’m not.  I swim every day because that’s what I would obviously do if I had a pool, right?  I work out because there’s equipment there, and I’d totally use equipment every day if I had easy access to it like at this house.  (Tell that to my stationary bike in my office.)  I get up early and am usually at work on time because we all know that’s what I normally do.

Why is it that when I’m somewhere else, I can sometimes be a better version of myself?

Why is it that when I’m sitting at home on my couch I’ll probably have the television on while surfing the web and not accomplishing anything?

But when I’m inserted into someone else’s life, I get things done and do things well.

Maybe it’s the accountability that I know that in a week they’re coming back, and they expect their animals to be alive and their house to still be standing.

I get frustrated with myself a lot at the ways I choose to waste my own time and yet I get angry when I feel that someone else is wasting my time.

It’s a double standard.  I’m selling out.  I obviously can do these things like getting up early and getting to work on time.  I can take care of another living being other than myself and everyone be healthy at the end of the week.  These are things that I can do and things that I do when I’m taking care of someone else.

So why can’t I seem to be able to take care of myself like I should?

So why do I keep selling out to the proverbial bowl of soup?

I deserve better than this.  This trading my birthright stuff is getting old.  And as much as I love Chocolate Xtreme Blizzards, even they are losing their flavor.  Every time I make a bad decision like that, I just want to throw up a little bit.  Yet I still do it.

Things around here are becoming dull and uninspired because of the way I see myself, dull and uninspiring.  Sometimes not worth the effort it takes to get to work on time.  Not strong enough to say no to that Pepsi or that ice cream…or just anything with sugar at all.

I think these next couple weeks will be good for me.  I’m ready for a break from being lethargic me and ready to start working on the me that I really want to be.  I can’t wait to see what it’s like to get to work on time every day!

Stuff I’ve Loved This Week

July 18, 2011 in Uncategorized with 0 Comments

I’m taking a little break for today, but I do want to recommend some great blog posts that I read this past week.  Enjoy!!

Always good for a post that makes me think, Alece over at Grit and Glory definitely did not disappoint this time either.  She shares her story with us here.  I hope you’ll go check it out.

Friday, I didn’t think that Bianca was going to post anything, but when she did, it was well worth waiting for.  Go check out her post on remembering by clicking here.

In light of all the craziness which prompted this post from me, Donald Miller posted a wonderful video about healthy masculinity here.

Rachel Held Evans also posted about Biblical masculinity, which was a thought-provoking read here.

Bryan Allain is making a series of funny videos called Churdles, which are about hurdles that we face in the church.  He posted the first one on Tuesday, and it’s seriously funny, folks.  At least it’s funny if you’ve ever been part of a worship or multimedia team in a church.  You can enjoy it here.

So what about you?  Send me some links to some of your favorite reads for this past week.  Let me know what you’re reading and what I should be reading, too!  Let’s comment it up!

10 Things I’ve Thought About This Week

July 15, 2011 in Uncategorized with 4 Comments

So while I’ve probably thought about more than 10 things this week (no promises, though), I thought I would post the top 10 that I can think of right now.  Let’s rock this joint.

1.  Today I completed week four of the Couch to 5K program.  I have this handy-dandy little app on my iPhone that I can see my schedule for the day, and it dings and tells me when to walk and when to run so I don’t have to focus on anything else other than breathing and staying alive.  When I saw that I had to run for 5 minutes straight two times this week, I thought I was going to die.  I didn’t.  I find that encouraging.

2.  I love swimming.  The water was 96 degrees and it still felt cool to my skin.  That’s how stinking hot it was.  I’m thankful for friends and family with pools who don’t care if I just randomly show up at their homes.

3. God is way better to me than I deserve.  (I actually think this a lot, not just this week)

4.  I kind of hurt my knee last week, so the running has been a little labored and slower than normal (which is at a turtle’s pace on a good day anyway).  I talked to my uncle, who is a doctor, and we both thought tendinitis might be the culprit, and he suggested a brace.  I didn’t know you could have a muffin top on your leg, but that’s exactly what my leg looks like just above the brace.  Just don’t look too close if I’m jogging by you.  Dont’ want to gross you out.

5.  I really, really, really, really, really wish it would stop raining for a couple weeks.  Our poor farmers can’t get anything done.  It’s a little frustrating as a farmer’s daughter.

6. I start house-sitting for two weeks straight in 10 days.  Both homes have pools.  One outdoor and one indoor.  I’m very thankful.  I think margaritas by the pool and in the sun sounds heavenly.

7.  I love my church family.  We’re a little community.  It’s awesome.  That is all.

8.  I know I’ve said it before, but it’s amazing how productive I can be without the television or radio turned on.

9.  Rahab was listed in Hebrews 11, the Hall of Fame of Faith.  A prostitute considered by God to be righteous and faith-filled is awesome in my book.  Gives me hope that even though I don’t have it all together, God does.

10.  I really want to go boating.  I don’t want to have to go out in public in a bathing suit, but I really want to go boating more than I don’t want people to see me.  Hopefully, there will be time for boating, and hopefully there will be a time when I won’t be so self-conscious about my body.  Until that time, I guess we’ll all just have to deal with muffin-tops over knee braces and bathing suits.

So what’s been on your mind this week?

Dueling Pastors

July 13, 2011 in Uncategorized with 13 Comments

They’re out there most days. I can hear them speaking loudly and passionately, even yelling sometimes. I like to call them the dueling pastors. Usually they start on one end of my block at the bank and make it all the way down to my little corner and then back again. Sometimes they have some women that come and sing with them.

I know they’re talking about Jesus because I hear words like salvation and heaven and hell and God, but I haven’t every really listened.

When they’re on my corner, they stand right beside my steps pacing back and forth speaking so passionately to anyone who will hear. But here’s the thing: No one really hears. We’re right on the main highway. Cars zoom by. There are a few pedestrians going into the shops around us, but for the most part, there’s no one. When I have to leave my office or come back to it and they’re standing outside, I try hard not to make eye contact as to not become engaged in a conversation that I really don’t want to have.

I have a feeling that these gentlemen feel strongly that this is what God has called them to do.

And I have the audacity to laugh when I drive by.

Yeah. It’s not the way I choose to spread the message and the love of Christ. But it’s the way that you choose to do so. Who am I to poke fun at you for doing what you’re called to be doing?

Do I think it’s reaching anyone? No. Does that give me a right to step in and tell you that you’re doing everything wrong? ‘Cause what if you’re not? What if I am?

There’s a lot of talk around the blogsphere of a pastor that is consistently being called out for his bullying behavior. And while I’ve read a few of the remarks and stories, I still don’t know what to think about how to handle the situation. It seems as though he has a history of making fun of people or beliefs that aren’t congruent to his own.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m way off base here, but what makes me any different when I walk inside my office laughing and the dueling preachers on my corner?

The blog world has been heavy with responses to his latest statement, and it’s people that have no relationship with the man that are calling him out. Yes. I believe something needs to be said to this gentleman, but what qualifies me to be the one to say it when I do the same things? Am I any different because I don’t have as big a platform as he does? Should you hold me any less accountable than his peers should hold him? Aren’t all of us who have any sort of a platform in leadership?

And then there’s the little thing about Jesus dying on the cross for us. He extended this radical grace achieved only by His death so that we can be forgiven over and over and over and over again. I have a hard time grasping that. Every time I screw up, I’m covered by His grace. So is Mark Driscoll.

So just as I really do believe that this behavior is kind of ridiculous, I also believe that as Christians we should extend him grace. I’m not suggesting we excuse his behavior. He needs to be held accountable for the hurtful things that he says. I’m saying that I’m not the one to do it. But I can give grace, forgiveness, a second chance. Jesus says 7×70 times.

So if I say something completely ridiculous and you know me, hold me accountable. Call me. Email me. Let me know that you don’t agree. Together we’ll work through it, all covered by God’s radical grace.

Uninspired

July 11, 2011 in Uncategorized with 7 Comments

Honestly, today I feel uninspired.  As I type this, though, my thoughts are, “How can you be uninspired living in all that God has created for you?”  But the sad and honest truth is that I’m uninspired.  Every day it’s kind of the same.  I wake up, go for a run or not, go to work, come home and write and/or watch TV.  I don’t get out some days.  Part of this is because I’m out in the public sector of work, and most nights I just really want the silence.  Another part of it is is that it’s stinking hot.  But I think the biggest part of it is that I’ve let myself become accustomed to God’s creation.

By accustomed I mean, honestly, I’m bored, so I don’t even try to get out there.  But then there are the days when I’m reminded just how awesome He and His creation are.
I walked out the door for a run last week and was welcomed by this.  It was beautiful.  And then this weekend I got to meet a new niece.
How can I be bored with all this beauty?  How can I become so accustomed to creation all around me that I never even really see it or go out and experience it?

So today I’m a little tired.  I’m a little uninspired.  But I’m not going to take it for granted any longer.  I’m going to stay aware.  When I see creation, I see God.  And when I see God, I hope that I never feel uninspired.  I hope that I always stand in awe of His handiwork, whether it’s in nature, in people or in me.  He’s working.  I may never be uninspired again.

What about you?  Do you ever feel uninspired?

10 Reasons I Love Small-Town Living

July 8, 2011 in Uncategorized with 6 Comments

I hope by now you’ve read last Friday’s 10 Things post.  If you haven’t, click here and find out why small-town living can be frustrating at times.  All in all, I do love living in a small town.  And here are 10 reasons why!

1.  I’m sure in a city you can be 15 minutes from  everything for the most part depending on traffic.  I live 15 minutes from just about everything and this is my view out my back door.  Be jealous.
2. I spend less money because it’s such a big deal to go to a mall.  Ultimately this has helped me reach my debt-free goal.  Bonus.

3. Everyone knows everyone’s business.  Yes.  I know I posted this as a potential negative last week, this can also be a very good thing.  Seriously, my town really knows how to pull together when they know someone is hurting.  They’re quick for a fundraiser and a pork burger sale.  I’ve seen crazy amounts of money be raised in just a few hours in order to fill a need.

4.  It’s harder to vanish without someone noticing.  Not that I intend on vanishing, but when my face doesn’t show up in a few places that it normally does, I’ll get a call to make sure everything is all good.  People notice when you’re not there.

5. I know that I complained that we had a small selection of restaurants.  They are few, but they are mighty.  I love it that by going to them, I get to help support my friends and their families.  And I love not cooking and eating food that’s better than what I would cook.

6. While I do enjoy Starbucks, we have an incredible coffee shop just a half a block from my office.  I walk through the door, they greet me by name and then start fixing my drink before I even have to say a word.  It’s like when Norm walks into the bar on Cheers…sort of.

7. This community has supported my family’s business for 20+ years.  Seriously.  We grow pumpkins and gourds and squash, and this community loves to come out and just enjoy a day on our farm and pick their pumpkins for Halloween and fall decorations, and I love them for it.

8. I can walk a block and it take me 30 minutes because I keep running into people I know and talk to them.  Yes.  There are days when I’m not really in the mood to talk, but see Wednesday’s post.  Relationships are key, folks.  It’s harder to avoid them in a small town.  So do what Jesus did.  Go out among the people and relate.

9. Several years ago during harvest-time my grandfather passed away.  He and my dad always did the farming together.  Dad was running short on time trying to get everything done when the neighbors called and brought their combines and finished the harvest for my dad.  Community.  Helping people.  It’s what it’s all about.  And I am so thankful for it.

10. I love this little town.  Whether I’m eating fish at the Firemen’s Fish Fry to help them with their funding, buying pork burgers to help send a young woman to China for the summer or giving money to support the Fairfield Mules (yes, that’s our mascot), I love this little town.  I get to see people.  I get to help people. And I get to love and support people all from a close distance.   When I go to church, I worship with people I know and love.  And when we serve, we serve people that we know and love.

I guess living in the city or living in a small town you’re always going to get what you’re looking for.  I’m a person that’s going to seek out community rather than sitting by myself or wanting to vanish.  I like to be social, and I can do that a whole lot less expensive here in my hometown than I could in a city because there would be so many more options for me, and I don’t do well with lots of options!

So what about you?  What do you like about living in a small town?  What do you like about living in a city?

It’s All Right Here

July 6, 2011 in Uncategorized with 6 Comments

I was on time…actually, running early for work the other day, so I decided to stop at a gas station and get a drink.  I had just enough time to get in, pay, get out and still get to work with time to spare.  Everything was going according to plan when I stepped out the door, started walking to my car and saw a girl that I grew up with.

I said hi hoping that that would be sufficient, but knowing that it probably wouldn’t be.  Ten minutes later I walked into work never happier to be late.  Keep in mind I don’t love being habitually late to work.  It’s one of my traits that I despise.  I really am trying to work on it, though.  The problem is, I’m only late to work.  Go figure.

Anyway, our conversation went as follows:

Me:  Hi!

Her:  Hey!  How are you?

Me:  I’m good.  How about yourself?

Her:  (Pause) ::HUGE smile:: I finally got baptized!

As the conversation went on, she told me of her experience.  It seemed as though she had been having a rough day.  She told her husband to go take the kids somewhere and just leave her alone for a while.  She said, “I walked over and picked up my Bible.  I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I knew that I would find the answers I needed in there.  I held it up and hugged it against my chest and just started crying.  I didn’t even have to open it to get the peace I was looking for.”

Standing there with tears in my eyes so happy for her all I could think was that I almost missed this.  I was in a hurry to be on time, and if I had done what I really wanted to do, which was just say hey and go my own way, I would have missed it.  She had Jesus shining out of her ears, and I would have missed it.

Another thing that struck me is that she said she found what she was looking for just by going and picking up the Bible.  That may seem a little ridiculous.  I can understand that.  Picking up a book and finding peace?  Crazy, right?  But then I guess raising from the dead after three days is, too.

All I’m really trying to say today is that I serve a big God.  And my God can heal the sick, feed the hungry and comfort the hurting.  He brought dead men to life just by speaking words, and I don’t have time to go pick up my Bible and read a few chapters?

What blessings and lessons am I missing because I’m too busy?  What stories and what relationships have I put on the back burner because I’ve got another appointment or I have to be somewhere else…or just don’t have time?  Who in need have I not seen because I was talking on my phone through Wal-Mart in order to have an excuse not to talk to people?

My God is a big and powerful God.  He’s going to get my attention and slow me down one way or another.  I’d hope He’d find me seeking Him rather than ignoring His people.

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