My computer’s acting up.  I bought a new hard drive, but the files won’t transfer.  So far I’ve got everything put in my Dropbox program on my iPad except for my music, and between my phone and my iPad I still don’t have enough room to save it all.  It’s looking like I’m going to have to burn a bunch backup CDs.  I know they’re saved to the iCloud, but I have no idea how to get them from the cloud to my computer afterwards.

And this is all because of a stupid virus.  A virus that is telling my hard drive that it’s too full when I only have about 10 documents, my music and a couple programs.  That’s it.  It’s frustrating.  I hate computer viruses.  I’ve sat for hours just trying to figure a way to work around it, but the fact is I’m just going to have to install a new hard drive and start all over as much as I want to ignore what this one is telling me.

I’m too full and I can’t take any more.

Do you feel like that sometimes?

Do other people try to tell you that sometimes?

When they feel like you’re too busy, but you’re out doing what you’re sure you’re supposed to be doing?  And they think they’re trying to help by keeping you at what they see as a normal pace.  I think their hearts are usually in the right place.  But it ultimately boils down to one thing:

They’re holding you back.

And I think we have to be aware and discern between the people that are doing it because love you and the people that really are doing it just to hold us back.

That virus on my computer?  It filled up my hard drive immediately and I keep getting messages saying that I’m almost out of memory.  And the thing is is that I didn’t download it on purpose.  It’s just that sometimes these things just show up.  And sometimes it’s from a place online that we’re familiar with and comfortable downloading things from.  Those are the attacks we’re not expecting.

So what I want you to know is that when you go out to chase your dreams, you’re going to be approached by people who really do care about you and want what’s best for you.  And when you get approached, you’re going to feel like you’re being attacked, and maybe it’s not you that they’re attacking, but your dreams.  Either way, it hurts.

But they love you.

They really do.

They just don’t want to see you get hurt.

So forgive them.  Just don’t quit chasing your dreams because someone doesn’t want you to get hurt.  I think about the only time dreams ever really come true is when you live a little bit dangerous.

What do you say to the people who just don’t want you to get hurt?

Making a bucket list seems like the thing to do lately.  I’ve always had a few things that I swore I’d do before I died, and now I have a name for it.  So here are a few things from my bucket list…10 to be exact:

1.  Hike the Great Wall in China.

2.  Visit Australia and New Zealand.  I’ll need a couple months off for this one.

3.  Visit all 50 states.

4.  Become a published author, whether self-published or traditional publishing.

5.  Get caught in a snow storm in a cabin in the mountains and be stuck there for a few days but have plenty of supplies to make it through.

6.  Visit Ireland and the Cliffs of Moher.

7.  Learn Italian.

8.  Go snorkeling in the Caribbean.

9.  Spend the night in a castle, preferably in Scotland.

10.  Swim with my nieces and nephews in the ocean.

What’s on your bucket list?

I did the sound and video at a conference my church put on this past Saturday.  I got to sit back and relax and not really have to do too much.

Wrong.

That’s a really hard job.  Kudos to all you sound and light people.  You’re my new heroes.

But one of the highlights of the day was the final speaker.  He’s a dynamic pastor that when he prays, I feel Jesus.  And when he preaches I feel like he’s talking directly to me, and so does everyone else in the room.

But Saturday he told the story of going to get his wife roses for Valentine’s Day.  He walked in and asked the salesperson what each of the colors meant with the roses.  As she told him, he was designing the bouquet  that he wanted to give to his wife based on the colors and meanings of each of the flowers.  After she was done telling him about each of the meanings, he asked her if she had that in writing anywhere that he could use to explain to his wife what the bouquet meant.  Her response?

We do pretty.  We don’t do knowledge.  

Really.  That’s what we do.  He was speaking to about 40 young women seeking to learn about purity and and self-worth and ultimately realizing that most what what they learn about relationships is pretty.  It’s fluffy.  And using his words again, we’re teaching kids how to build houses instead of teaching them to make a home.  We can make everything on the outside look so appealing to the rest of the world, but on the inside we’re a big fat mess.

I know problems are hard to work through and that it’s easier to push them back and not deal with them.  But we must.  I know that dealing with our past is sometimes painful.  But we have to fight through.

No one has it all together.  Not a single person.

They may look like it on the outside, but on the inside?  We all have scars and broken places that have either been repaired or are still gaping open.

My challenge to you?  Dig in.  Don’t settle for being less than you can be.  And hold on for the ride.

Ultimately this road will take you to the best possible you.

The you that you were created to be.

I went to the Catalyst Conference back in October of 2011.  I was excited to hear some speakers who I greatly respected, didn’t really want to hear one guy in particular and hadn’t heard of several of them.  One such gentleman that I hadn’t heard of was a guy named Jim Collins.  He’s written a few books on leadership and business and what separates the good from the great.  His last two books are now on my must-read list, Good To Great and Great By Choice.

His presentation focused on his latest book, Great By Choice and why, given the same set of circumstances, some businesses or people succeed and some fail.  This type of research has always intrigued me, so once he got started I was able to tune out everything around me.  Last week I listened to the audio of his presentation again.

He told the story of two explorers trying to be the first people to reach the south pole.  One gentleman took his team, some experimental equipment, just enough food and started out.  When the weather was good, they went as far as they could.  When the weather was bad, they stayed in their tents to wait it out.  They reached the south pole first and started their way back to their base camp.

The second leader went to live with Eskimos and study they way of life.  Instead of taking experimental equipment, he used dogs to pull their sleds.  They took three times the amount of food needed and made sure they were going to find the depots on their way back.  Every day they went 15-20 miles.  If the weather was good, they’d go 20.  If the weather was bad, they’d go 15.  It didn’t matter the circumstances.  He knew that more than 20 miles exhaustion would set in.  But he also knew that less than 15 miles would be a waste of a day.

In these two instances the first gentleman took risks on things that weren’t tested, and when things got hard (weather), he would just sit back and let it pass.  He and every person on his team died 11 miles from their last food depot.

The second gentleman did his research.  He used dogs because they don’t sweat and freeze, and they’ve been tested for hundreds of years.  He set markers 10 miles out from each food depot so they wouldn’t miss them and wind up dead.  And the thing that got me was that EVERY DAY they set out to reach their goal.   They made it back to their base camp and are credited with being the first people to reach the south pole.

Mr. Collins talked about businesses and the ones that excel are the ones that do the hard stuff day in and day out.  He called it their 20-mile march.  Every day, doing the things it takes to succeed.  Be prepared for what you can’t imagine.  Be disciplined.  And it helps to be a little bit crazy, too.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my 20-mile march.  What is it?  What should it be?

So I’ve been trying to be more deliberate.  When I get up in the morning, I try to get up in time for me to show up on time to work.  I’m getting things done well.  This weekends dieting disaster aside, I’m eating well and clean.  I’m going to the gym.  These are all things that I need to do daily in order to be available.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the old me.

It’s just that I think there’s a better one lurking somewhere inside.

I think it’s time to start working towards that.

What’s your 20-mile march?

I love music.  If you know me at all, you know that this is true. I grew up wanting to be a radio DJ.  I couldn’t imagine a better job than sitting around playing music and talking about it on air.  And even though that wasn’t the dream that stuck, I still love music.  I love to sing.  I love to play it.  I love to listen to it.  And I love to argue with Herschel about which music is better.

But here are some bands that I found out that I loved in 2011.  Some of them are older, but new to me.  Some of them are just new.  Hope you enjoy them as I do!

1. The Civil Wars.  These guys made their debut last year and started off with a tour with Adele.  I’d say that’s a fairly decent debut.  My friend took me to their concert in St. Louis after I ran my half marathon.  I wasn’t the best of company because I couldn’t move, but I’m so thankful and the concert was pretty amazing!

2.  The Staves.  This trio of sisters opened for The Civil Wars at the concert we went to.  There is no harmony like family harmony, and these girls definitely have it.  It’s perfect music to have on in the background while relaxing with friends or just to have on while driving.  Love.

3.  Seryn.  They were at the Catalyst Conference my friend and I went to last October.  Incredible live performances every time they took the stage that week.  I’m a fan of variety in music, but we listened to their CD the whole 8-hour drive back from Atlanta and never got tired of it.  Enjoy!

4.  Page CXVI.  I heard of this band from a Twitter recommendation.  My Twitter friends haven’t had bad taste so far in my experience.  What these guys do is take old hymns and “update” them.  And they’re so good.  Here’s one of my favorites.  Also check out this one.

5.  Brooke Fraser.  I’ve known who she is for a long time and even had some of her CDs for a couple years.  She started out singing and writing with Hillsong and has moved to a solo career mostly.  Just such a smooth voice and good solid lyrics.  Love just about everything I hear from her.

6.  Florence + The Machine.  My friend Nancy introduced me to this music this summer while swimming.  I just enjoy it.  It’s pleasant to me.  It’s loud when it needs to be loud, and they rein it in when they need to rein it in.  Just like it a lot.  They do win the award for some of the weirdest videos, though.

7.  Adele.  I’ve loved her music for a while but recently just upgraded her so that going to one of her concerts is now on my bucket list.  The only other band on that list is U2.

8.  Ingrid Michaelson.  There’s just something about her voice that I love.  The songs are simple and catchy and you just find yourself singing along.

9.  Matt Nathanson.  I didn’t think that much could beat his last album…until Modern Love came out.  This guy just keeps putting out good music.

10.  Alabama Shakes.  I don’t know much about this band at all, but this is probably one of my favorite discoveries in the last few months.  You can’t get their music on iTunes yet.  I think that’s coming out this spring.  But I absolutely LOVE their sound.  I heard this song on Spectrum Rock on my SIRIUS radio, which I’m loving, by the way.  But I can’t wait until I can get some more of this music!

So who would you add to my list? 

I think some people were put on earth just to annoy me.  A phone conversation from my office yesterday, for instance:

Caller:  Can you tell me what kind of price you’ve got on the house that so-and-so used to live in?

Me:  I’m not familiar with that gentleman.  Do you have an address?

Caller:   It’s off of Elm.  You’ve got a sign in the yard.  It’s the house where so-and-so lived a while back.

Me:  I’m sorry, sir, but like I said, I’m not familiar with that gentleman.  If you had an address, I could definitely give you the right price.

Caller:  Well, I don’t know the address.  You’ve got a sign in the yard.  You mean to tell me you don’t know the price of a house where you’ve got a sign in the yard?  It’s the house where so-and-so used to live.

Me:  I’m sorry, sir.  I don’t.  I manage between 30 and 45 properties here on any given day, and without an address, I have no idea which home you’re talking about.

Caller: Well, sounds like you’ve got too much business for your own good.  It’s the house that so-and-so used to live in.

Me:  Sir, I’m truly sorry, but without an address I have no idea which home you’re talking about.  We do have a home on the corner of Elm and 3rd St.  Would that be the home you’re talking about?

Caller:  Well, no.  So-and-so didn’t live there.  It’s not on Elm.  It’s off Elm.  You’re telling me you don’t know the price?

Me:  I don’t know which home to give you a price for, sir.

Caller:  Well, that’ s just fine.  I’ll call Golden Gate.

Me:  Thank you, sir.  Have a nice day.

Really?

Yes.  Really.  And not only that, that’s the second call from two different people I’ve had this week.  This one was just a little more comical than the previous.  Both of the calls were from older gentlemen that sounded like they were well past retirement years.  The first one kind of laughed at himself and was able to give me the numbers of what I was looking for.  Yesterday?  He was plain grouchy with me…AND I have no idea who he was going to call.  The place me mentioned is a town, not an agency.  Hmmm…

Have you ever been the caller on the line?  I think a lot of times when we’re communicating we feel that since we understand exactly what we’re trying to get across that everyone else does.  A lot of times it’s a little more complicated than just needing an address, but, still, it can only lead problems and people ending up where they’re not really expecting.

Don’t give in to the idea that halfway communicating something is getting your point across.  When you’re planning something or leading a group, don’t accept it when they say they understand.

Make sure.

I think one of the biggest things that gets in the way of progress is miscommunication.  This can lead to problems in planning, organization and in relationships with those you’re working with.

Don’t sell out and just assume that everyone knows what you’re talking about.  That’s easy.  Getting to know your friends and family through communication is the best way to ensure who is fighting for you and for whom you should be fighting.

Where have you seen miscommunication become a problem?

Do you now know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training.  They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.  No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.  1 Corinthians 9:24-27

I’ve been training for the half marathon since October, and the race itself is in April.  For the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to figure out what my next goal will be in this new lifestyle of fitness.  And before you say it, no.  I’m not going to run a marathon.  I’m perfectly content with 13.1 miles.  I’ve got a few ideas, but I’m still hammering them out in my head.  I’ll let you know soon, though.

I started setting goals at an early age, I think.  I knew I wanted to be a court reporter from 8th grade on.  Everything I did from that point was working towards that career.  I achieved the goal.  Circumstances changed.  So did the career.

To a certain extent it devastated me.  I didn’t know how to accept the fact that the thing that I’d worked my whole life for wasn’t going to be the thing I’d be doing my whole life.  Everyone told me I had to be working towards goals in my life.

No one told me that those goals would change or evolve.

And don’t get me wrong.  I’m not blaming anyone for my ignorance.  I just don’t want you to think that if your goals change, then you’re a failure.

When we make goals, we start at the very beginning of the race.  We have no idea what is going to happen along the way.  We don’t know what runners are going to quit halfway through or fall down and get hurt.  We don’t know if we’re going to trip over something along the way.  We have no idea what is going to happen.

Sometimes working towards our goals isn’t about the goals themselves.

Sometimes it’s just about the journey.

I believe in goals.  I believe without them we’re just walking around aimlessly and not getting a darn thing done.  I believe with goals we’re stronger and better and motivated.  We’re on a mission.  I just don’t want us to get so focused on the goal that we forget that the journey is what is going to change us.

Achieving the goal doesn’t make us who we are.

What we learned along the way?  That’s the stuff they write books about.

What have you learned along one of your journeys?